the dreams gone

today I did something that was really hard for me. I never realized how much drama meant to me. I mean i didn't talk about it as much as others. I know I complained about it but I really do have a love for it.

One acts were something I was looking really forward to do but now I guess that dream is over. I guess in a way a lot of dreams are over.

I just hope people know I didn't drop it to run away from problems. I needed to do it just to make it so I will grad. when I'm supposed to. its funny that sometimes you can tell people and they don't believe you will do what you say and then the next thing they know you've done it.

I figure rumors will start soon but I guess thats a price that comes when you do something like this.

I just wish I didn't feel so upset...

how i feel

I feel ugly and that I'm not good enough for anyone.

burnt out

So i feel like I'm hitting a wall. like i can't make myself go on much longer with everything. I know i'm not the only one that is feeling this way and i'm sorry for complaining about it.

I'm really upset though. I have been trying to get everything figured out for school and it seems like the work will never end. Not to mention i'm sick now.

another thing thats bugging me is all our friends are split. I noticed I get mad with the way some people act. I also noticed that instead of wanting to be around each other anymore we all try to find reasons not to. I figured that since it was our last year we would want to be as close as possible until the end.

am I the only one that feels this way?