going crazy

Wednesday, July 27, 2005


I swear I feel so alone most of the time even when I'm with people. I've noticed that I am not someone people take serious and I wonder what the crap I do wrong. Is it just because I am blonde or maybe just because I don't pick up on things as fast as other people. I don't understand it and I have no idea on how to fix it. I swear I will never be trusted with something unless everyone else has been asked and wasn't able to get the job done. What really sucks though is if you know you could do an amazing job but no one will give you the time of day to even try. No one is ever going to take me serious in order for me to have the chance. I believe in myself but I guess others have to believe in me too. I feel so out of the loop, kind of like reject. is that possible why no one will take me serious is because i'm a reject?


  • At 11:23 AM, Blogger Smiles0415 said…

    Oh my goodness, I know exactly how you feel!! I'm the same way. People look at me and think "Dumb Blonde." And I mean, yeah, I am kind of a dumb blonde but that doesn't mean that I don't eventually get it. Well, and, I'm a very quite person. I don't have alot to say. It's just who I am and that makes it difficult for others to get close to me. So when you say that you feel alone even when you're with people, I totally understand. People think I don't like them and stuff just because I don't say alot but it's just because I don't have anything to say, not because I'm stuck up or anything.

    But anyways, from one blonde to another, I'm sorry that you're going through this. I can understand your situation. There's not alot that I have to offer but if there's ever a chance that I can give you to prove yourself, I will totally help you. You're an awesome person and you deserve any chance that you can get because I know you can do it.

    (This is emily by the way... just in case you couldn't tell)

  • At 5:24 PM, Blogger kikkoBEAM said…

    hahaha well before i start, i just want u to know that as soon as i opened ur blog "there you'll be" by faith hill started playing on my computer... u know the one from pearl harbour

    it just made it THAT much more emotional and touching.... *SIGH*


    well first off you believe in yourself. good for mette. pat yourself on the back. good. now hug yourself(thats from me).
    and now do a dance?
    feel better? haha that always helps me....

    isnt it great being a teenager? feeling hopelessly and endlessly alone, when really there are so many people around you who LOVE YOU and would GIVE UP alot for you, because of that.
    (*hint* the capital words mean that they are important!! lol)
    and not understanding? ahh that i cant help you with as i too seem to have that problem. no matter how many times i contemplate life and decide that i have figured it out, it changes and im left to try and decipher everything all over again. im not sure how to get out of that rut being that im not an adult.... (OH WAIT YES I AM!!!! HAH!) well not an established one... i mean its been like 2 weeks...
    but i havent had experience enough to see if that goes away.
    maybe its just something that we are stuck with forever - in that case make the best of it... sometimes its good to not get too involved and not make your life so full of other people's problems you dont have time for your own.

    so im not going to ramble on and on and on till your eyes hurt and you want to come all the way over here and strangle me, telling me that you are sick of my stupid advice.

    hmmmm.... idea? lol jk
    but im really done this time.

    i only wish i could be there with you to give you a hug, spoon with you, and be confused with you.
    and make it all better.

    i will soon though i promise! pinky swear!!

    and before i do, do a little dance again.

    ... ok. good girl.

  • At 5:38 PM, Blogger The Short One said…

    Aww...Mette. I love you soo much! Gosh, your soo not a reject. Sheeish. If anything, I'M the reject! I'm the one sitting here with no friends and doing absolutely NOTHING!! Of course...I DID just have surgery...but that's besides the point.

    You know what? I understand. I know I've said this before to you....but I really really mean it! Yeah...sometimes its the blonde factor. People say it isn't...but its a real thing. A lot of it is the girl factor. We live in such a prejudice world. Even if your whole life you've been taught not to look down on others...it just comes naturally. *ugh*...I hate being judged.

    I'm sorry you feel so alone. Whenever you want to talk...I'm here. Until then...just know how wonderful you are. And whoever made you feel this way...I will kick them and run away laughing maniacally. And guess what Mette....?

    I believe in you.

  • At 1:04 AM, Blogger Soothie said…

    Don't get so wrapped up in the dramam that everyone give you. then you start to read too deep into and all that does is casuse ou to be more depressed more redilly... and no one wants that. So just let it roll of your back. That's what I do.

  • At 7:14 PM, Blogger Brynifred said…

    Shes not heartless Asay.

    Dont listen to him. Dont let it roll off your back.

    I have some wonderful advice for you, but I dont want Asay to hear it.

    Come by sometime, or maybe even just call. Although, I do still have your birthday present at my house so coming by might prove to be a happier solution!

    I love you! :)

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  • At 11:00 PM, Blogger Brynifred said…

    investments...got it...*wink wink*

    anyhoo, I just wanted to apologize to Asay. I dont know why but hes been on my nerves lately and its not even his fault...exclamation point...

    I shouldnt have said rude things to you, even though I know it probably didnt affect you much because what I have to say doesnt generally compute with...well... most of you...

    But I figured that I would take a shot and try and be nice again. I think I was just in a bad mood. Sorry Asay. I didnt mean to be rude...

    I wouldve visited your blog and said that but I didnt think youd appreciate it much.


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